


Voltron but as things that me and my friends have said in Discord

by Shoomp



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Incorrect Quotes, Other, chat, chatfic, crackfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22084840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoomp/pseuds/Shoomp
Summary: Basically Voltron as things that me and my friends have said.Rated Teen for swearing.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Voltron but as things that me and my friends have said in Discord

**Author's Note:**

> USERNAMES:  
> K.Kogane = Keith Kogane  
> pidgeon = Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt  
> Taylor = Lance McClain  
> Space Daddy = Takashi ‘Shiro’ Shirogane  
> Sunshine = Hunk Garret

**-Paladins of Voltron-**

_12:11AM_  
**K.Kogane:** Remember that, you are not worthless—

**pidgeon has logged on.**

******pidgeon:** what** **

******K.Kogane:** —Organs and Human body parts are very valuable in the black market.** **

****Your bone marrow alone is worth 23 Million.** **

****

******pidgeon:** oh yeah you could totally get one of your kidneys removed sell it on the black market for like 60 grand and be fine** **

****quick easy money** **

****life hack** **

****

******K.Kogane:** Your heart can sell for a cool Million in the U.S.** **

****Your liver can sell for 557,000** **

****And your kidneys can sell for about 262,000 each.** **

****

******pidgeon:** yuh** **

****that’s what im saying broski** **

****get a kidney removed** **

****sell it** **

****get rich** **

****live ok** **

****

******K.Kogane:** How about** **

****

******pidgeon:** unless the unlikely event that your other kidney just nopes ** **

****

******K.Kogane:** Instead of Kidnapping and holding someone for ransom** **

****Just wait for their body to decompose in your basement and sell their bone marrow** **

****

******Taylor has logged on.** ** **

****

******pidgeon:** hi lank** **

****

******K.Kogane:** Hello** **

****

******Taylor:** Watchu talking about?** **

****

******K.Kogane:** Selling organs on the black market so, the usual I guess.** **

****

******Taylor:** We’ve been kidnapping wrong our entire lives** **

****I feel so lied to.** **

****

******pidgeon:** or just kidnap them then kill them and take their organs** **

****

******Taylor:** Id imagine that there’s a type of murderer who takes organs and sells them on the black market** **

****I’m kinda curious who would pay for them though** **

****Probably doctors ?** **

****

******K.Kogane:** Statistically, If you do the math—** **

****— You are worth 45 Million.** **

****

******pidgeon:** it’s free real estate** **

****

******Taylor:** Imagine going up to insecure children and telling them that they are full of worth because their organs would sell for a fuck ton on the black market lmao** **

****

******K.Kogane:** If you sold every chemical organ in your body, then added the bone marrow costs..** **

****..That’d amount up to 68 Million.** **

****

******Taylor: It’s free real estate** ** **

****

******pidgeon:** _a singular human being carries a bounty of 68 million above their head and its yours to take._** **

****

******Taylor:** But as long as you kill them without damaging the organs.** **

****So likely, strangulation** **

****Or drowning** **

****Are the killing methods of choice** **

****

******K.Kogane:** Strangulation???** **

****

******Taylor: **Strangling them**** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** That’s a word??????** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** you would know if you werent a dropout** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** You act like you’re smarter than us but you don’t even use commas or punctuation, _you gremlin._** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** at least im not in my emo phase at the age of fucking 19** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** Ouch.** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** But actually, with taxing and shipping fees you’d maybe have a Million or a few Thousand knocked off the table.** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** Don’t change the subject, Mullet man** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** thats enough to be set for life,** ** **

****** **

********Space Daddy has logged on.** ** ** **

****** **

********Space daddy:** Pidge, please use proper punctuation.** ** **

******Also, WHAT IN THE LIVING—** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** Oh, hi Shiro.** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** fuck you dad i use punctuation how i want** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** Don’t worry papi we’re having a normal conversation** ** **

****** **

********Space daddy:** This is likely the least normal conversation I have ever seen, and Matt is my best friend. **Matt.**** ** **

******And can everyone please go to sleep?** ** **

******It's almost 1 in the morning.** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** No U.** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:**  
** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:**  
** ** **

****** **

********Space daddy:** I feel attacked.** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** ok boomer** ** **

******now can we go back to our conversation?** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** You can legally sell your heart, liver or kidneys in the U.S.** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** Legally?** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** that’s why it’s free real estate** ** **

****** **

**********K.Kogane:****  
  
Boom. **

********pidgeon:** if google says so it must be true.** ** **

****** **

********Space daddy:** I said—** ** **

****** **

******Taylor: Because it’s America.** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** _hippity hoppity your organs are now the black markets property._** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** _OH say can you see_** ** **

******_American flaaag_ ** ** **

******_Blaaaaaaaack Markeeeeet_ ** ** **

******_Stealing orgaaaaans—_ ** ** **

****** **

********Space daddy: NO** ** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** so in conclusion,** ** **

******stay healthy,** ** **

******move to america,** ** **

******and steal kidneys.** ** **

****** **

********Space Daddy:** _@Sunshine_ BACK ME UP HERE** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** you shallnt receive any help, the council has already decided your fate** ** **

****** **

********Sunshine has logged on.** ** ** **

****** **

********Sunshine:** What’s up?** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH** ** ** **

****** **

********Space Daddy:** Scroll up.** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** No wait- don’t corrupt him Shiro!** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** _it is too late, he has met his own demise now._** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** Here lies Hunk’s innocence.** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** A moment of silence please.** ** **

****** **

********pidgeon:** f** ** **

****** **

********Taylor:** F** ** **

****** **

********K.Kogane:** F** ** **

****** **

********Space daddy:** F** ** **

****** **

********Sunshine:** MY EYES.** ** **


End file.
